I know that I have not lived in North Carolin in over 12 years, but my heart and thoughts are always there. I moved to Raleigh when I was 8 months old, it is my home. I went to high school, then college. I made tons of friends, many who have influenced my life for good. They made me the person I am. When I visit once or twice a year, I do spend most of my time with family. I try to see those friends and often it is only a few friends because of time. I wish I could see all those people who have influenced my life all at once. Life doesn't work that way. Friends come and go, some friends you always talk with and others when you see them, you start right where you left off.
Every time I leave North Carolina, I feel like I am grieving loss of friends because everyone changes. We are all moving forward, including myself, but when you move away and pop into a place off and on, you realize how much you miss. That is hard. I don't like feeling left out.
Then, when something tragic happens with a friend, you are so far away, you can't do anything (death of loved one, cancer, mother/father passing away, accidents, surgeries, etc..) You feel helpless. I can't help plan the funeral, babysit the kids, clean the house, cry with them, sit at the hospital with them, try to make them laugh or find the good in the crappy situation. Why does it bother me so much? I think about what I went through with my friends when I lived there. We experienced loss of many friends and it brought us closer together and now I am not there. (my family calls this FO-MO, fear of missing out).
To my friends- I may not physically be there, but I do facebook stalk you, ask about you, wonder how you are doing, pray for you always, miss the times we had together. I know that we all have gone our separate ways, but you left a mark on my soul.