As one of my roles as coordinator at EFY, I get to help solve problems on Monday as the youth check in. Our biggest issues seem to be roommates. EFY allows the participants to be match with one roommate. Then, the youth can be linked to be in the same session of EFY (not the same group or floor or housing). It is stated clearly on the website in one than one location. I dread Mondays because it is the day, I have parents yell at me, parents and youth cry because their expectations are shattered in a few minutes. It is hard, not to take things personally. We didn't decide the housing. We only have so much flexible with housing and then they have to be in a certain age grouping. We honor roommate requests, but group requests we can't do. Another huge issue is dress and grooming standards. This year the focus has been that guy's hair must be cut a certain length or they can't check in. Emails have been sent to youth and their parents.
What is funny to me, is that I would rather deal with my alternative school kid's parents then EFY parents somedays. Maybe I am out of practice of having thick skin. This past Monday was a little difficult and disappointing. My partner Scott, had a dad yelled at him that he was annoyed his son had to cut his hair. What is funny, is that it is standard given in the strength of youth pamphlet. Defend your son for not following church leaders, that doesn't make sense.
Then, I get to deal with mom's who me to fix their daughters housing. Here is the situation. Two mom's approach me had thought that their daughter and roommate were going to be in the same group as another set of friends. (As previously, we can do this.) I explained to the mothers the policy of linking and we can put everyone in the same group. The purpose of EFY is to make new friends and what great experience it will be to make new friends. (sidenote: the girls were on the same floor, but different counselors) The mothers were not happy and wondered why I couldn't fix their problem if I was the solutions table. I explained to them further that to make this change in housing causes a ripple effect and counselors already have names for their youth, etc... One mother understood and backed down, the other mother did not. She stated, "you are the solutions table and I need solution." I explained to her I couldn't provide her the solution she desired and that was the solution. I explained to the youth, that with the girls in the two groups, they would know twice as many boys and new friends. They didn't seem to care. Then she (the mother) did something that completely shocked me. She turned and whispered to her daughter, they looked at me and laughed. I stayed calm and smiled.
What are parents teaching their children?: If you have problem, I will solve it for you. I will enable you and not allow you to learn from a difficult experience. I don't wish for you to make new friends. I will teach to you disrespect other adults and be rude. I was crushed at the behavior of this parent.
If it was my parents, my mom would have told me to deal with it. Life is hard and I need to be strong. What is funny, is the other mother apologized for being rude.
9 comments:
People are pretty amazing. The whole EFY concept is so weird and foreign to me. I mean, I remember Youth Conference as a kid and that was pretty awesome.
It just goes to show that being a member of the church doesn't mean you automatically will be a decent parent or decent person.
We're all coming from different places, but I guess the really amazing thing is that we all have the same example to work towards.
sometimes I don't understand parents either. Isn't it nice to be able to vent on your blog at times? HOpe EFy is going well for you. Cant wait to get together...I'll be going ring shopping when I get back in town with Eric!
Cho,
Wow it shocks me about the parents. We have a YM in our ward that specifically had to cut his hair in order to go to EFY. His mom and dad really enforced it and were overjoyed that he could go to EFY (not just for the spiritual part but THE HAIR CUT. What a difference it makes on the YM and how nice they look. More girls payed attention to him. Anyway good luck!
Jill
If the apologetic mother is smart, she will encourage her daughter to choose a better friend... quickly. At the end of this session, please give us an update on how the obnoxious social butterfly survived her week.
You know it doesn't surprise me. Parents these days are just as bad as the kids, its no wonder kids these days don't show any respect anymore. How sad!
Cletus and I have talked about how some parents want to make things easier on their kids - in a bad way - and end up teaching them some pretty poor lessons along the way. We're trying as hard as we can to make our kids' lives as hard as possible ... ha-ha, kind of. Sounds like you performed great under pressure. You are more mature than the giggling, whispering, obnoxious mom.
WOW!
I bet that was the sister of a mom who cut in front of a huge line of kids who had been waiting for 30 minutes to get on the school bus at the truck show!-- But they only wanted to sit on the bus; they didn't want to drive it.
I think I met that stupid mom's other sister at Ross yesterday. She was the obnoxious one who instead of waiting in the line like the rest of us, cut in order to get out faster. She obviously must be famous or more important than me.
Parents these days kill me. I am fuming with fury and want a little face time with that mom.
Rach.. found yer blog through my sis... I love catching up on people! you are sooo amazing to have smiled and kept your cool .. I think I would have gone off on that mother... ya can't please everyone!
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