Friend Making

I realized recently that I don't like making a ton of friends anymore. It is not that I don't like people, but that it is exhausting sometimes. When I was younger, I love making friends and being everyone's friend. It was great. I thought, the person with the most friends wins. Now, I am tired. I would prefer to skip to the surface friend portion. I realize that is part of the process, but honestly, I think sometimes you can tell whether you will be good friends or surface friends. I desire meaningful relationships with people, not just surface friends. Surface friends are fine, but they seem to come and go quickly, which seems to be hurtful as well. I believe I have had so many, it has started to make my heart hardened slightly. I never thought I would be tired of making friends, but it has come. I am still outgoing and friendly, but my desire has diminished compared to early years. I find it harder to let people see the real me. I don't like to feel that tons of people know that I am extremely vulernable and sensitive. I feel like a created a huge wall to my heart. I don't want to make friends, just to know that in a few months, they will not be your friends anymore for whatever reason. I fight this all the time. I don't want to have a huge wall, but it exists.

I am thankful that the church helps fight this with home/visiting teaching and various callings that change over periods of time. It forces people to not be in their comfort zones all the time. When people share meaningful, spiritual experiences together, it brings them closer together.